I miss you Vincent.

While re-posting some of the older things I've written, I came across something I wrote the night Vincent passed away. I don't know why I thought I could handle rereading it so I could edit any mistakes. I couldn't. I'm still crying.

Looking back at photographs of him, I'm realizing how malnourished he really was, and the guilt—that I thought was gone—is rushing back to the pit of my stomach. I wish I had a lot of photos of him like I do Pinsky, some of when he was healthier maybe, but sadly I don't. (I got a camera towards the end of his life, so I didn't have the ability to take many pictures.) I guess that longing is more so a selfish one though. In the back of my mind I'm thinking that if I see pictures of Vinny when he was happier and healthier, I won't feel so guilty for how badly he got before he passed. Unfortunately the only memories and mental visions I have of him are of him being as thin as a #2 pencil, literally.

My heart is breaking all over again. I really miss him. I wish he could be here right now with Pinsky. It'd be a dream come true for them both to be here for me to love.

Please don't get me wrong, I would never give up Pinsky if it meant that Vincent would magically come back as a ghost gecko. However, I cannot help but miss Vincent. You have to understand that he was the first gecko I've ever had. I don't love one more than the other, but they both were/are so drastically different in various ways that I love them in different ways. Regardless, my love for them is love, and that's something that will never die.


(The first photograph is of Vincent, while the second is of Pinsky when he was a baby.)