Wednesday, June 10, 2009

WOW

(Originally quoted on June 10th, 2009. Posted to COSA18 on September 14th, 2009.)

I had a dream
This one I feel the need to mention
I was happy for awhile
And I stopped being scared and ashamed
To say what’s on my mind
But you thought I’d change after awhile
And said “you’d better treat me different or else
“Or else” seems like a stupid fucking thing to say to someone like me
Someone like me
Wow, wow, wow
Wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow…
Don’t be surprised I can look you in the eye
It’s hard to take you serious when you take me inside
Don’t be surprised I can look you in the eye
It’s hard to take you serious when you take me inside
I’m worse
Than what you think you’d catch from me
Complicated’s understated
Did you stop and take a look at who you fell in love with?
At who you fell in love with
It doesn’t matter
How many times I say it
It never gets old
That’s why I have to say
Wow, wow, wow
Wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow…
It doesn’t matter if you’re going to come or just going
I never wanted you to come here anyway
There’s a word that’s like you
Because it can be a noun, a verb, a exclamation, or the thing I say
When something is unbelievable
When I’m not able to believe how unbelievably unbelievable
That you believe you could not be leave-able
That’s when I have to say
Wow, wow, wow
Wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow…
It doesn’t matter
How many times I say it
It never gets old
That’s why I have to say
Wow.

"I understand that you hear the first half as angry, I guess maybe I should look at it in a different way. I hear the second half of the record as threatening. The first half of the record is kind of angry, but it's bitter and it's weak and it's uncertain, which is where anger comes from, which is not where threatening comes from. There's a confidence that starts to rebuild itself, and I think that it starts right about the point of "WOW." That song sticks out to me enough that I got it tattooed on my wrist. I wanted to do a song that was everything that I had to remember represented who I am and why I started this in the first place.

It's funny to me because the first time I played the song, without any singing on it, because the music is so absurd. We just started recording it and I refused to let anybody try and do what they're supposed to do. I said, "Just hit record." I made Twiggy play keyboards, and I started playing guitar with one string on it, and I had a microphone and we got done and the first thing we said was "Wow." Well that's what it is. It's like the "Macarena" of nonsense and confusion, and it really represents something that we always strive to accomplish." - Marilyn Manson



    Soon we will be twins.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Peace and Drugs

(Originally written on June 10th, 2009. Posted to COSA18 on September 14th, 2009.)

     Sorry, but peace and drugs don't go hand in hand. Thinking so makes you quite oblivious, and I recommend you find something else to do besides light up. You can tell me all day long that doing drugs "chills you out" and that it gives you a "peaceful feeling", but in reality, is it? Yeah, maybe in the moment, sure, even I've experienced that. However, what about the regret you experience later over things you've missed, things you've done, etc. You can tell me all day long you "live with no regrets" but those that do are just afraid to admit they have them.

     Man up and stop doing drugs. Stop associating them with things that really have no relevance. It's okay to regret things, you can't learn lessons and have "no regrets". You're lying to everyone and the only people that will believe you are the ones that are lying to themselves about the same thing.

     Trust me people, there are more important things than cute .gifs that advocate weed, peace, and being bisexual.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Amor

(Originally written on June 3rd, 2009. Posted to COSA18 on September 14th, 2009.)

I wish I knew what it felt like to be in normal love.

     My friends and I can gush over cute guys during countless sleepovers, but honestly that's not getting me anywhere but missing what I no longer have, and despite these guy's qualities and looks I think I know about, I wouldn't really date any of them. I apologize even though I shouldn't have to, but I am just human — I miss past loves. I'm not afraid to say that, I'm not going to deny the truth. It's only natural as loving beings. Granted not all the time, and especially only time to time, but nonetheless I do once in a while.

     I've only willingly fallen in love once, meaning I have only fallen in love once on my own time. Usually my relationships go: 1. falling in like 2. the asking of out, we start "officially" dating (because only one guy has ever taken me out on a real date; step up people geez) 3. they "love me" within a week, or in a particular case, that was their reason for why we should be together in the first place. It's a little ridiculous, and that's not comfortable at all.

     I guess I just don't really know where to go from here besides forward and not straight. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I'm usually not "OMG LUVZ" because I try to be as loveless as possible, and who knows why. Regardless of everything and everyone, you make me think "Wow," and I'm not going to lie, I love you still.