♠

     When people respond to the conversation starting question with, “I would want to read minds,” I conceive it laughable. I’m close to saying that it’s immature. However, with thought more elaborate I decide it’s likely a characteristic of someone who would rather live free of reining wonder.

     My conclusion rests on their fear of the unknown until I recall the following: I am petrified of the unknown to the scar of madness, yet I would hardly thirst to contain author’s knowledge by forced draw.

      The eighth circle of Hell with my head turned round just isn’t where I belong.

     Leading me to the night’s wonder: why do people like me? We’re in sixth grade for a moment because I mean like me like me. Usually I don’t attract the children of ages lesser than my own, as a matter of fact they rarely even match me. By the looks of it, I’ve strolled into the ballpark of grown men. Pushing aside the idea of my clumsy stumble I’ve considered the two major league reasons for this. The first being, “They’re immature, that’s why they want me,” and the second, “Or maybe I am on the level they’re convinced I am.”

     Peering beyond a few that provided Pictionary purpose to the prior, I’ve learned enough to keep up the awareness guard for filtering the retention pond. I could easily spot a dorsal fin from miles away with a sharp eye… if it’s open.

     & In the end it’s all an exhausted sport and I’ve tried being a player. Heartbreaking might be fine under Valium-colored skies, but here I’m gazing with a mirrored blank stare at Tamarian Gardens. “You cannot see anything. I tried it too.” As for being blindsided—I’m capable too, I’m capable of anything, after all.

30 Days to an Almost End - Day 21

Nicest thing someone has 
said to you this week

“I want to be your Chicken McNugget,

chewing bubblegum along side you

as the world passes by.”

Just always remember who you are and what you mean to me.

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30 Days to an Almost End - Day 20

A hobby of yours

Polished nails / Darwin / Tattoos
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A list of your favorite blogs

 *your biggest mistake day dreaming.  Le LoveThought QuestionsAnd all that could have been...   30 Days to an Almost End series list

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Whatever tickles your fancy

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An art piece
(painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

Marilyn Manson

Untitled (Dita)

Les fleurs du mal

Wraith

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A picture you think is cute

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An inspiring quote

July 6th-8th 2010
A. Voltaire

     Of all that is written I love only what a man has written with his blood. Write with blood, and you will experience that blood is spirit.
     It is not easily possible to understand the blood of another: I hate reading idlers. Whoever knows the read will henceforth do nothing for the reader. Another century of readers—and the spirit itself will sink.
. . .
     Whoever writes in blood and aphorisms does not want to be read but to be learned by heart. In the mountains the shortest way is from peak to peak: but for that one must have long legs. Aphorisms should be peaks—and those who are addressed, tall and lofty. The air thin and pure, danger near, and the spirit full of gay sarcasm: these go well together. I want to have goblins around me, for I am courageous. Courage that puts ghosts to flight creates goblins for itself: courage wants to laugh.
     I no longer feel as you do: this cloud which I see beneath me, this blackness and gravity at which I laugh—this is your thundercloud.
     You look up when you feel the need for elevation. And I look down because I am elevated. Who among you can laugh and be elevated at the same time? Whoever climbs the highest mountains laughs at all tragic plays and tragic seriousness.
     Brave, unconcerned, mocking, violent—thus wisdom wants us: she is a woman and always loves only a warrior.
     You say to me, “Life is hard to bear.” But why would you have your pride in the morning and your resignation in the evening? Life is hard to bear; but do not act so tenderly! We are all of us fair beasts of burden, male and female asses. What do we have in common with the rosebud, which trembles because a drop of dew lies on it?
     True, we love life, but because we are used to living but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love. But there is always some reason in madness.
. . .
     I have learned to walk: ever since, I let myself run. I have learned to fly: ever since, I do not want to be pushed before moving along.
     Now I am light, now I fly, now I see myself beneath myself, now a god dances through me.

     Thus spoke Zarathustra.

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Something you're obsessed with

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30 Days to an Almost End - Day 13

Your favorite movie

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Explain the person you love most

 

     He’s my brother. He’s anything and everything to me, forever and always. He is the only person I would ever consider giving my life for. If it came down to me or him, I would rather it be me.
     Never to worry, for I am here. You have no better protector than me.

30 Days to an Almost End - Day 11

This week in detail

     I don’t remember my week in detail. I couldn’t tell you what I did last Sunday, I honestly do not recall. Instead I’ll tell you some details about my week that I can remember.

• Finally, I changed my last name on Facebook to Voltaire.
• At some point, I ate two or three or maybe even four McFlurries. All M&M. I’ve never had another flavor, and may never.





• I worked out a lot. This morning I went for my first morning bike ride, around 6:45 AM. It felt wonderful, I want to do it again.
• I watched a lot of movies this week. Cabaret, Copycat, Blue Velvet, The Lovely Bones… I think I’m missing one, too. One movie I didn’t see this week was Eclipse.





• I’ve read quite a few books this past week too. Plato’s Republic, Dante’s Inferno, Lois Lowry’s Gathering Blue and Messenger, Justin Halpern’s Sh*t My Dad Says. Now I’m reading Nabakov’s Pnin.





• I got a new Miley & Max skirt today, as well as a really cool wifebeater. It’s too big on me, but it was the only one I saw. I couldn’t pass it up.

     And that’s my week, the bits I can remember.

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30 Days to an Almost End - Day 10

A photo of you taken over three years ago

 

My dad & Me - October 2006

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30 Days to an Almost End - Day 09

A song that makes you cry (or nearly)

     Fear gripped this moment, hesitating it’s arrival.
     Unanticipated, old thoughts with new endings:
     And nothing in this world is for real, except. . .

 

      Trust me, it’s not the same as it was.

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A photo that makes you happy

You are my master and my author, you—

the only one from whom my writing drew

the noble style for which I have been honored.

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Your favorite book

     The same is true of biology. It is no accident that we see green almost wherever we look. It is no accident that we find ourselves perched on one tiny twig in the midst of a blossoming and flourishing tree of life; no accident that we are surrounded by millions of other species, eating, growing, rotting, swimming, walking, flying, burrowing, stalking, chasing, fleeing, outpacing, outwitting. Without green plants to outnumber us at least ten to one there would be no energy to power us. Without the ever-escalating arms race between predators and prey, parasites and hosts, without Darwin’s ‘war of nature’, without his ‘famine and death’ there would be no nervous systems capable of seeing anything at all, let along of appreciating and understanding it. We are surrounded by endless forms, most beautiful and most wonderful, and it is no accident, but the direct consequence of evolution by non-random natural selection - the only game in town, the greatest show on Earth.

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30 Days to an Almost End - Day 06

Whatever tickles your fancy- tattoos

     I love when tattoos look like paintings on canvas. Vincent Castiglia’s work on Nick Kusher—owner and operator of the Nachtkabarett and Babalon, the official Marilyn Manson forums—displays this attribute better than any work I have ever seen.

     My best friend Dave has a ton of tattoos. I’m fairly certain he has at least one hundred stars spread about his body by now, if not more. He’s become a collage of sorts, and the greatest part about it is that no matter how silly one or two tattoos might seem on the surface, they all make up who he is. It’s fascinating to me when someone can pull this off.

    I’m not sure who this is, but I’ve wanted a piece very similar to this on my own back for years. I have some ideas to make it my “own” and not a typical spine/ribcage copy, but nothing is 100% as of yet.

 

    Another favorite tattoo of mine is on Marilyn Manson. It is the Tursaansydän tattoo with a swastika incorporated in its center on his left inner bicep. I would love to get one done someday.

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30 Days to an Almost End - Day 05

Your favorite blog/blogger

 

http://kaathryn-xo.blogspot.com/

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A photo that makes you happy

 

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Your favorite television program

     Overall, my favorite show is Roseanne. As a child, I watched it for hours every day. Without it, I’m not sure how I would have gotten through some of my rougher childhood years.

     Today, I have a few more favorite shows.

30 Days to an Almost End series list