My first love.

     Today I have come to an extreme realization. For starters, I am not invincible. When I let my guard down, it might as well never exist again. My barriers are destroyed once you get in. I don't see anything that could ever change that, so telling the world my weakness won't matter. I cannot trust anyone to not annihilate me, but I have to hand over that trust even if they never knew the truth of me to begin with.

     The only thing left that matters is that you never completely get over your first love. I always thought that was pathetic, a reason for people to still hold on. But I'm not holding on. Still, I see him and I'm crushed. My heart explodes. I barely remember anything we did together in detail, so why does it still hurt? I guess it doesn't really matter, I've learned my lesson by loss. Too often am I unappreciative of people. I don't take all the blame by any means, but I am at fault for our ultimate demise. I never meant it when I said I was sorry. I mean it now.