I am in such a rotten mood.

     I am in such a rotten mood. I'm not happy, sad, mad, glad, grateful, or all of the above. I'm a little of all I suppose.

     I'm happy because there's something buzzing outside, a locust maybe? It reminds me of being close to water, with humidity. Usually that would bother me because I complain so frequently about Florida's weather which is extremely similar, but this sound reminds me of love for some reason. Maybe it's because it seems so Nicholas Sparks, or maybe it's because of the days I spent in Mississippi with Rob. Either thought or memory - respectively - reminds me of love before it has gone awry.

     I'm sad because I don't get any respect from certain people that should respect me. I've been trampled upon so many times by them, only after being kicked in the dirt by their very foot. I'm not sure why I'm seen as trash, worthless of even blowing in the breeze. Somehow it has come to me being judgmental, when it began just the opposite.

     I'm glad because those that don't respect me, are lower than me in every possible aspect of what makes a great human great. I am more intelligent, stronger, kinder, and productive. I am happier, well-liked, and mature. I wonder if all these things are recognized? Perhaps they are envious, another trait of their obvious immaturity. While I may not have the best grip on my reigns at all times, I have my hands wrapped around them for the most part on my life's ride. Although, I'm not riding my life out like they are, I'm steering, passing, speeding. I am doing more than defensive driving, by far.

     I'm grateful for my best friend. Without sense being barked at me sometimes, I'm not sure how rampant my life-driving would be. I'd be buckwild, and while that's great for many things, sometimes I need to be re-centered and brought back down to Earth. I need to be reminded I cannot always be the sun.

     I'm also grateful because I am getting new glasses in a week or two, and they're very nice. They're not cheap, my dad actually bought me better than what I envisioned. Money isn't everything by any means, but I was pleasantly surprised, and I am grateful for his generosity. More than anything, I am grateful my vision will be improved for faster, easier studying, and driving that's less stressful.

     I just realized I skipped mad.

     I'm happy, glad, and grateful I'm not mad anymore, but I am sad I felt I needed to be mad at all.