An unwelcomed ex floats back into my life.. Pt. 3 - Wiitarded

     A few days ago I wrote about finding the video game Twilight Princess, and how I was looking forward to playing it in spite of my ex-boyfriend. Well, I tried that after crawling through the front door at 3 AM. That was my first mistake, my second, third, infinite, is that I was deliriously exhausted, starving to the point my stomach was in knots, eating sour gummy worms without a drink, in tight jeans not meant for lounging, and Wii-tarded. I put the game into the Wii, and it didn't magically play like I expect from technology. I cursed Nintendo and Googled the problem on my Blackberry while putting in Animal Crossing to see if it was just Twilight Princess that was messed up, but Animal Crossing didn't work either. Suddenly a light bulb illuminated over my head, "Maybe it's upside down Alexis."

     Of course it was. Once I figured that out, I excitedly put fresh batteries in the back of a Wiimote. Crushing my dreams, when I selected the game, the Wiimote's lights just blinked a few times and shut off. Persistent, I put new batteries in the other Wiimote, but the same thing happened. Back on Google, I discovered that you need to either get a Wii mock-Gamecube controller, or plug in your old Gamecube controller.

     For ten minutes I searched all over that tiny white box, pressing in every little door so they'd pop out and reveal their hidden confusion. While I tried figuring out the purpose of all the little sockets, I realized that I obviously had the misconception that Wii's were simple. Apparently I was very wrong. Anyway, by the time I found the Gamecube controller sockets I was too tired to be bothered, plus I didn't want to find out how inconveniently short Nintendo had made the Gamecube controller cords.

     It's been days since then, and playing Twilight Princess has been lingering in the back of my mind as a fun idea. I've bused around the Gamecube more times than necessary, especially considering I haven't even plugged it in yet. I might bring it to Gainesville tomorrow so I have something to do in the hotel, but I probably won't play it there either. Regardless, I like this trend. The Gamecube is similar to a pet now, I almost want to give it a name to make people laugh at my ridiculousness. (Any suggestions?)

P.S. Apparently I'm not just Wiitarded, I'm also 360-tarded. (That one doesn't even make sense and it sounds condescending, but oh well.) Last night my friend Dave--my best friend actually, you should check out his blog--let me borrow his copy of Doppelherz, so I tried playing it in the Xbox 360. Halfway through the film, I got the red ring of death. After finding that link, I realized my theory about what was wrong last night is completely incorrect, and it just overheated. Weird!